I have had a pet peeve recently. It really annoys me when a girl in a very serious relationship or a married girl, feels the need to go on about how she "IS STILL HER OWN PERSON"! Well hello, aren't we all our "own person"? It's like, just because you're attached to this other person, some girls seems to get extra defensive about really showing that they haven't changed. I guess now that I am married, I seem to notice this more because people are always asking, "so how is married life?" -- as if I am going to give some life altering answer. Usually, I keep it simple and say "wonderful", well because it is. But our life together was wonderful before we got married.
This September, a best friend casually mentioned that I'd changed since getting married. I had to laugh because at that point I had been married for 3 months. I felt the words, "NO I HAVEN'T " form in my mouth almost immediately. Instead, I laughed it off and gave her a smile. We have been best friends since 9th grade and we always beat each other up a bit and she knows exactly how to get me going.
I thought about her words for a month, and then I realized that maybe I have changed...but for the better and the change didn't happen after I got married, it happened when I started dating MMB. From the very beginning, MMB made me laugh and smile a whole lot more. Most importantly, he made me realize to let the little things go...as you can see from the above situation. If anything, MMB made me more fun and a little less serious. He is the best person I know and he has always made me want to be the best version of myself.
I had a conversation with a different friend and I found myself saying that "MMB is my top priority (besides myself) and comes first when I think about most things." I told her that he has been my #1 for a really long time and that is how I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I bring this up because those same girls who seem to want to tell you they haven't changed or are still their own person, always seem to push their most important relationship on the back burner. I don't get it.
So after all this rambling, I guess I am just trying to say, yes I hear you. I am still my "own person" also, just a better version of the one you may remember. And yes, I LOVE all my girlfriends and always make time for them, whether it's girls night or a girls trip or just a phone conversation to my besties in NYC. But, MMB is number 1 and I know I am his number 1, and that makes me pretty happy! He is my once in lifetime love and every morning I remember just how lucky I am.
27 is a hard age, we are all in different spots. Some of us are single and loving it, some of us are married and some of us even have babies! I think we all just have to realize, we always are who we are, we just stretch and twist to fit our lives and that is okay.
once in a lifetime love...
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YES! Totally agree with you here. Be your own woman, but be that woman that is in an awesome, trusting, wonderful relationship with her #1 guy :) Enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThis post is so sweet! My boyfriend and I are celebrating our three-year anniversary next week. Most of my girlfriends (with the exception of two who are married and one who is engaged) are single, and often think that I plan my life around his. What they don't realize is that he has become my life ... he is my roommate, my best friend, and my beau!
ReplyDeleteThank you SOO much for this post. This is the exact problem I am having w my best friend right now - we are both in serious long term relationships - bout our 2 relationships could not be more different. She keeps telling me to be more independent - but I don't think spending more time out with girlfriends and strangers than with ones boyfriend = independent.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you again, it is always so encouraging to and validating to feel there are others out there on the same page as you.
I really loved this post! And I appreciate it so much because I agree with it 100%. So what if we change? Especially if it makes us become better versions of ourselves :)
ReplyDeleteLoved this post! And when you are in a healthy relationship, you only continue to grow and become a better person. :) When you get married, your partner takes the top spot. The hardest part for me was letting go of my father. He had been my knight in shining armor for 24 years so that was a difficult adjustment but a neccesary one. It doesn't matter if its your father or best friend, your marriage is top priority. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is sweet and extremely well expressed. You and MMB are very lucky!
ReplyDeleteThis is sweet and very well expressed. You and MMB are very lucky, indeed!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I think from the time we graduate college on everyone is in a different "place". Some are getting married, some head to graduate school, others to the workforce. As time goes by some start having children, some get married some delve more into the workforce - and some have it all going on at the same time. I think it sometimes is hard to just be happy for everyone and their choices. IF that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! We are at a tough age!! Very glad you wrote this - from one married gal to another!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more! After 16 years of marriage I am def. still Lilly~lovin' me, but I am married to my best friend! Gets better all.the.time! I wish you many, Many, MANY years of happiness!
ReplyDeleteLove and Hugs,
Mrs. Kindergarten...aka...Madam Spoiled
Your post reminds me of a quote I saw on Pinterest (cheesy, I know!) that really struck a cord with me:
ReplyDeleteWhen someone says "you've changed" it simply means you've stopped living your life their way.
love this post! I'm agree with you 100%!
ReplyDeleteYou are smart, Kerry. MMB should be your number one priority. Marriage is difficult and is work. As long as you know that you are your husband's top priority and he knows that he is yours, you will be happy. Anyone who tells you differently, doesn't get it.
ReplyDelete